started by kriknerual on Monday, December 23, 2013 at 10:55am PST
modified on Tuesday, January 5, 2016 at 9:47pm PST
When I was a little girl I used to look at thestars while sipping a warm glass of milk and eating some food , like the freshly baked cookies my mom always made, sugary, soft, and delicious.
Now things are different, it's no longer milk and cookies I consume.Instead, I eat parboiled shoestrings and peppered lemon honey lozenges when lonely.
I don't like my dog's penis since it smells like dead kittens, which is the name of my prog rock band. I think they're really good at pole dancing, though. They could improve by eating some limabeans because everyone knows that only limabeans can help improve pole dancing. However, there is an exception. Every friday the thirteenth there is a thing that happens called an apocalypse. I run away because I believe that lima beans are causing the apocalypse. That is truly very unfortunate.
I ran to the nearest grocery store, smashing all the lima beans.Then I yelled, "Lima beans! They're evil! Destroy them! Kill them all!" Suddenly, the police came. They wanted everyone to stick bananas up their apples. That's when things started to get craaaaaaaaaaaaaazy. Someone had eaten all the pickled beets. Every last jar. I knew one thing. I didn't eat the beets, because I knew that beets were the only thing that could save us all. But where could I obtain more beets?